Illegal Aliens (2007)

There are some films that will never win any awards. During filming there is little doubt that anyone involved was thinking of what they will say as they stand on the podium to accept some well known award. Still, these movies keep getting made for one simple reason; people pay to see them. Whether it’s in the theater on DVD or cable we shell out money for these flicks. Many are guilty pleasures fun movies with little or no cinematic presence. One such flick is ‘Illegal Aliens’ featuring the late Anna Nicole Smith. No doubt her recent demise and the media circus in the courts will boast sales of this her last film. In watching this film it is best to try not to be a film snob. The only similarities between this and Citizen Kane is the DVDs for both films are shiny. Just turn off the higher reasoning centers of your brain and forget the troubles of the world for about an hour and a half. It also helps if you look at this movie as a spoof of other far better flicks. Thinks of the Scary Movie flicks; they are silly, sophomoric and fun to watch as long as your boss doesn’t see you buying it.

The film starts out with a silly homage to so many of the ‘B’ science fiction flicks I loved as a kid. The black and white animation shows the earth from space, complete with an arrow stating ‘You are here.’ The animation explains that the only thing between earth and inter galactic invaders is a holographic supervisor Syntax (Kevin McGuire). He is part of an agency in space that protects backward planets like ours. He sends the agents to earth for our own protection. The three agents are shape shifters and while they can assume any form they wish they choose to become beautiful young women because ‘really hot chicks have it easy’. When they are not saving the world from aliens they have a cover to hide their true identities. The girls work in Hollywood as special effects experts. The names of the agents are Lucy (Anna Nicole Smith), Cameron (Lenise Sorén) and Drew (Gladys Jimenez). Any similarities with the cast of the latest Charlie’s Angels films are purely intentional. They arrive on Earth in a space ship with a bumper sticker that reads ‘My Other Ride is Uranus.’ Two minutes into the flick and already there are about a dozen shots at other films. They land in New York City in the year 1987. After a little discussion they find a magazine and make their decision to turn into young women. They emerge from their crater with very little clothing much to the amazement and delight of a drunken homeless man who witnessed their landing. From there it is quickly on to Hollywood and their new assignments. Adding to the camp value they are watching television in their new place and the E channel’s Anna Nicole show is on. There is some inference that Lucy is playing the part of Anna Nicole on the series. She is the bubble head one while Cameron is more grounded and responsible while Drew is silly but generally goes alone with Cameron. The evil alien comes in the form of Rex (Joanie Laurer). She seeks out Big Tony (John James) in a neighborhood Italian bar. Rex wastes little time announcing that she is now in charge of Tony’s criminal activities. It turns out that Rex is in the form of Tony’s wife and while his reaction is initially laughter Rex manages to convince him who’s the boss by shooting him dead. She moves the gang out to California and begins a rampage of crime, mostly high jacking trucks and blowing up buildings. Syntax has been monitoring these activities and tells the girls that the thief is planning on building a negative gravatron. Naturally, the girls find the evil Rex, there are some fight and gizmos used and they save the world. I hope I didn’t spoil the ending here.

I have to admit that director David Giancola and script writer Ben Coello have a good eye for satire. I also confess that I went into watching this film not expecting much at all but it works as a silly guilty pleasure. It was fun and paced well. The jokes do have a tendency to hit you over the head such as when Lucy awakens from a dream she tells Cameron in her drew she was dating Justin Timberlake and that Drew kept shouting ‘ET, ET’. In her dream Lucy was Chinese with puzzles her since she doesn’t like rice. Yes, this is the level of the humor but you will find yourself laughing. One reason is the film never takes itself seriously. It is a camp, over the top spoof of much of pop culture and doesn’t pretend to be anything else. Giancola ‘borrow’ liberally from every famous shot he could fit in the film. There are sweeping shots over the city; the Terminator landing scene and many others. The audience can make a little drinking game out of identifying them all.

Actually, the cast works quite well here. This was the last film for Anna Nicole Smith and she did show some talent in making fun of herself. She plays Lucy as a clumsy but beautiful young woman, innocent and wide eyed. She even gets to poke fun at some of her best known lines such as her You-Tube famous ‘You like my body?’ I have to give credit to someone who is able to take negative comments that people in the media make and turn them into jokes. She had a sense of humor about herself and it showed here. The villainess here is Joanie Laurer, better know as former WWF wrestler ‘Chyna Doll’. Like Anna Nicole she as recently found new fame on several E Channel ‘reality’ series. She plays Rex completely over the top. I was reminded of some of those alien femme fatales of the old science fiction serials I loved as a kid. Laurer contorts her face, screams and takes villainy to new heights. Together they may act as bimbos but they have a flair for this type of low brow comedy. Lenise Sorén has the task of being the straight woman for most of the film. It is up to her to lay some sort of realistic foundation to offset the zany antics of her co-stars.

MTI Home Video is becoming one of my favorite distributors. In the last month I reviewed one of the best dramas I and seen and this, one of the silliest films ever; both from MTI. This shows that they are willing to give every sort of film a chance and I have to applaud their efforts. They provide something for the serious film lover as well as little fun flicks like this one. The DVD is in full screen with a bright and crisp video. The color palette is well done. The Dolby Stereo audio has better than usual channel separation with a reasonably full sound stage. There are even extras provide here. There is a blooper reel but it is difficult to tell the mistakes from the antics that made the cut into the final flick. The audio commentary by the director shows the audience that he set out to have fun and achieved his goal. There is also a pretty usual making of documentary included. This is a fun flick for a rainy day. Have some friends over, order a couple of pizzas and open a case of beer. Enjoy it for what it is, fun.

Posted 04/24/07