Revamped

Of all the myriad of creatures that have found employment in horror films none is as versatile as the vampire. Whether it is the purely evil and deformed type such as found in Nosferatu or the more seductive variation like Dracula audiences have always been fascinated by these masters of the night. There is a certain playing with fire aspect to vampires, they are often beautiful or handsome but more likely than not deadly. Of all the variations of monsters used in horror flicks these are among the most interesting. One reason may be they can pass for humans. Anyone would run from a Freddy Kruger or a lumbering zombie but a vampire can pull you in. While it is true that they can only roam about by night but the same could be said about any number of the party-hearty pop princesses that dominate the covers of every tabloid in existence. There is also the aspect of living off of blood. This vital substance is the essence of life itself. There lust for it, often referred to poetically as ‘the thirst’ is one of the defining quantities of all vampire legends. As they closest horror movie villain to true humanity they can also be describe as infectious, able to create more of their own kind. This human aspect permits writers to create clans and associations of vampires unlike the usually lone wolf killers of other monsters. The romantic lore around vampires is one of the most attractive aspects of their personalities. They are able to seduce their hapless victims draining their blood with a kiss.

One of the latest entries into this fabled movie genre is ‘Revamped’. It is obviously a labor of love for Jeff Rector who takes on numerous jobs in the production including director, co-writer, leading man, casting director and both producer and executive producer. One has to wonder if he also made the food for the craft services table on set. Normally it is not a great sign when a person’s name appears more than two times in the credits but Rector manages to be the proverbial exception that proves the rule. With an independent film such as this it is not uncommon for the piece to be the idea of an individual. In order to keep the all important financial bottom line under control people have to take on multiple titles in a production. This does seem to be the case here. If you look up Rector’s previous credits he has experience in almost every job title he takes on for this film, albeit several credits were also on his on films. The point is this is a man used to multitasking.

The film doesn’t seem to take itself too seriously. Vampire films can do well when played for the camp value and this one is an example of this methodology. ‘Revamped’ show a more personalized look at the aftermath of being bitten and transformed by these undead creatures. With a film like this the audience can either laugh at the film pointing out unintentional humor or with it. Here Rector most likely wanted to create a fun flick to enjoy and in this he did succeed. While the film will never go up against the classics of the genre it is a reasonably good watch and at the end of the day that is what matters.

The movie begins with a man, Richard Clark (Jeff Rector) looking out over the city of Los Angles at night. He wants to start his story at the beginning so Richard goes back to his first wedding anniversary, the last night that was normal for him. He sits alone in a lush bedroom, pours a drink and lifts it in a toast to a picture of his wife (Allison McCurdy). He opens a bill from the Continental Hotel for over $12,000 and not knowing what it was for calls them. It turns out that he has been staying there a lot lately apparently with his wife Janet. The desk clerk even thanks him for his generous tip. His first though was that Janet was cheating on him. He tries to kill himself but the gun misfires and rope just pulls the chandelier out of the ceiling. He sees a bizarre infomercial on television for ‘Kiss of Death Inc.’ that promises immortality and a complete change with only a little bite. Richard calls ‘1-888-BITE ME’ and asks about joining. He is told a service representative would appear tomorrow at midnight. Less than five minutes into the feature and Rector has already established the playful puns that will pervade the flick. He vows revenge on both Janet and her mystery lover. He imagines various scenarios including floating into the room with Janet and her special friend and killing them both or appearing in full cape and evening wear in an old black and white movie. Yes, Richard is looking forward to joining the ranks of the undead.

The moment arrives and Richard starts to have some very serious second thoughts about going through with it. He opens the door to the representative, a lingerie styled vampire named Lilith (Tane McClure). It doesn’t take long for Richard to consider Lilith his soul mate and he tells her that he wants to continue seeing her after his transformation. He gets turned and at his ‘funeral Janet is shocked to find out he cut her completely out of his will. Wanting to save some money Janet has Richard cremated but five years later when some cult members murder the undertaker his blood mixes with the ashes and Richard is restored, or revamped as the case may be. He sets out to find Lilith and the fun really starts. His search takes him to an underground Goth club. He winds up at a private party in the basement. It turns out to be the set of a stuff flick and after a little mayhem Richard becomes the one doing the killing on film. Eventually Richard gets on the radar of two groups, S.T.A.K.E., dedicated to killing vampires and BLEEDERS, a vampire survivor group.

The script is very funny in a bad pun sort of fashion. You just have to let go to enjoy the film. There is also a lot of stunt casting. Normally this can be really bad but in this case it works. You can even make a game of finding the hidden in plain view actors. One of the Satanist that attacks the funeral home is Dennis Haskins, best known for his role as Principal Belding in ‘Save by the Bell’. There is also Carel Struycken who appeared in several of the Star Trek shows and Kato Kaelin. Others to look for are Anne Lockhart from the original Battlestar Galaticas and although he is not credited I though I saw James Callis from the revised series. One joke I found great was from Alana Curry who was in Terminated 3 who opens the door to a van and tells Richard ‘Come with me if you want to live’. The film is one joke after another. Some work some don’t but at the end of the film you will have spent most of the time laughing.

Rector has demonstrated that he can pull off such a campy film as this with flair. The film is paced to perfection. It moves along right from the start and never drags. While not for the younger viewers this is an excellent flick to enjoy with a group of friends one dark and stormy night. MTI has been releasing little gems like this for some time now. If you enjoy an genre of independent films then you will find something interesting with them. I always look forward to previewing anything from them. The DVD is in Dolby 5.1 audio which is very well done. The anamorphic 1.85:1 video is excellent. The specifications indicate a behind the scenes featurette and director’s commentary which was not available on the screener. This is a fun one that any fan of horror will appreciate.

Posted 01/21/08