The Cook (2008)

One type of movie that is exploding lately is the horror flick. For a group of people that want to get into film making this seems like a nature and fairly easy way to break into the business. Typically the budget can be much lower than most other kinds of films and the shooting time can be kept to a very brief period. The result is the market is overwhelmed by one mediocre slasher film after another. Many may gain some acceptance for their camp value although a lot of these probably tried to make a straight forward flick and the humor is entirely unintentional. One thing I respected about one of the latest in this parade of horror flicks, ‘The Cook’ is it is very obvious that the cast and crew chose to make it funny. The humor is dark, very dark but they wanted the audience to laugh. Now the horror comedy is becoming a respected genre in its own right and this flick fits right in there. It is more of a satire of the so called serious horror movies than trying to be one. Deciding whether a film works depends on if it succeeded in conveying the intended story and emotional response. Here that story was a send up of all the other flicks out there that take themselves far too seriously and the emotional response desired was laughter. Bottom line is the flick works.

Even the marketing people seem to have picked up on this point. The film is a juvenile romp of sex and gore and doesn’t pretend otherwise. The cover art lets you know right up front what you are in for. It shows a young man with a Jim Carrey like laugh on his face dressed in a chef’s jacket holding a covered tray. The coat is splattered with blood. Around him is a bevy of beautiful young women. The background is a huge picture of breast with the cook dead set in the cleavage. In case all of this is too subtle for you there are arrows. One points to the young man telling us he is the cook. The other points to the young women noting they are the dinner. Like I said before there are no pretenses or hidden agendas in this flick and that is refreshing. The cover also announces that the film is unrated. Since most direct to video releases such as this are not submitted to the MPAA there is an excellent chance that it never was rated. Still, if you are of delicate sensibilities do not watch. The target audience here is high school and college aged guys so remember this is not a date movie; do not expect a girlfriend to watch this with you. There is blood, gore and nudity in good measure. I supposed you can say there is a plot although it is thinner than the nightgowns worn by some of the co-eds depicted here. This is one to watch but it is suggested that you first buy a keg of beer and order several pizzas then call your male friends. It would go perfect for a guy’s only night.

The film begins with a sweeping aerial shot of a nice community. There are houses with well kept lawns on tree lined streets. Then again I supposed that Elm Street looked peaceful from this angel too. Jump cut to a frying pan sizzling with blood and then to a look at the Lambda Epsilon Zeta sorority house where most of the sisters are busy packing to get away for the upcoming holiday. Left behind are a small group of beautiful young women each one representing a well defined horror flick victim archetype. Autumn (Noelle Kenney) for example is the required dumb blonde who thinks that Cabo is an island while Michelle (Stefanie Solano) is the group slut as evident by her statement about known guys who could provide a gangbang. There is an ad in a local paper stating the sorority is looking for a new cook, a hand circles it in red; how foreboding. Amy (Makinna Ridgway) is the good girl always teased by the others for wasting time with mundane things like studying, as if that is what college is all about. Others in the core group are Pam (Justine Marino) the over bearing one and Brooke (Nina Fehren) the tease. When the substitute cook (Mark Hengst) arrives he has a suitcase full of cleavers and knives but of course no one thinks twice about it. He is from Hungry and seems sweet even a bit goofy. Upstairs the group passes the room of Kristen (Brooke Lenzi) who as always is reading her Bible. Anastasia (Penny Drake), the militant lesbian dominatrix stops by to say hello. At least someone is nice to the bible thumper there but her conversation turns real nasty very fast. This is not the close knit sorority house usually seem. It is more like an all female cast of MTV’s ‘The Real World’. One of the last of the girls to be introduced is Amy’s roommate, Bunny (Kit Paquin) who is busy exercising when Amy comes in. She shouldn’t overdo it though it can make the meat stringy. The cook seems to have taken a liking to Amy so the audience at this point has to begin making bets as to which course of the meal each of the others will make. It is not as if we don’t know what is going to happen. Let’s just say that the audience does not have to wait long for the initial kill and subsequent meat grinding and new recipe. All that was needed here is a Mrs. Lovett’s guide to dinner. The cook makes some great over the top faces while preparing the meal. The rest of the girls sit down to their first dinner with the new cook unaware that the expression ‘bite me’ is about to take on a whole new meaning. One running gag is the cook doesn’t speak much English and is always telling the girls in his own language that he is going to kill and eat them. Most of them just think it is very romantic. It is like speaking to an animal that responds to the tone of the voice not the words.

This film does well in providing dark humor by making fun of most of the clichés found in other members of the gore-fest genre. For a flick marked as unrated it is relatively tame. There is plenty of graphic bloodletting and ‘R’ level female nudity to go around but it could have been a lot worse or from the puerile target demographic point of view a lot better. Between the gruesome murders and food preparation there are all the horror flick required sorority house activities. There is a lot of pot smoking and drinking. Some topless body shots, the prerequisite bubble bath and the ever popular experimental lesbian scene. Director Gregg Simon keeps things moving very well here. He never lets the action get bogged down but all that unnecessary exposition. He knows what his audience wants and makes sure that it is delivered in regular increments. The acting is a step above some of the wooden performances that have become so common in the genre of late. These young women at least make an attempt to create believable presentations of their characters. They had to know they were playing stereotypes and looks like they had fun with it. The same goes for Mark Hengst as the deadly cook. He gets the smile just right as he tells the girls in a language they can’t understand that he will kill them now.

Anchor Bay has a solid niche oriented flick here. The video is a clear and well balanced anamorphic 2.35:1. The Dolby 5.1 audio has a very good channel separation and back fill to the sound field. There is an audio commentary that includes writer Nicholas Bonomo, and actors Mark Hengst, Makinna Ridgeway, Kit Paquin, Nina Fehern and Brooke Lenzi. It was more fun to listen to than most cast oriented commentary tracks and has a little MST3K feel to it as the make fun of themselves. Also included is a behind the scenes featurette that concentrates mostly on the effects and the audition of Hengst as the cook. This is fun to watch. Don’t take it seriously, it doesn’t.

Posted 03/14/08